well.... these past 2 days has been something like dejavu abit....

have you guys seen this movie...? quite nice... i recommend it..... worth the RM10 bucks... but u need to be alert all the time in the cinema... once u blink... u'll have no idea for the next whole show....

i dont know why but sometimes i feel that its all because of me..... whatever wrong step i do will be punished because i made a promise to never wipe that smile..... but i feel its unfair to live your life like this.... if she had done the same promise to me and if i were to make u follow your promise all the time then things would definitely be very very very different... i have to confess, yes, i am not entirely happy.... and im sure you're not entirely happy aswell... but haven't you realize that most of the times it always me that says sorry.... whatever arguments we have is mostly or shall i say everytime caused by me.... is that just coincidence or is that telling me your perfect..? u might start to think now that you have said sorry in the past as well.... but most of it was because i became extra sensitive and wanted to hear you say sorry.... it was because i was hurt by what you said or what you do but i wanted to feel hurt so that in my mind, i have heard you said sorry.... by now you should know me well enough and im that sort of person that wont really bother and saying sorry a million times.....

but to you, i have said sorry more than i can remember..... until the word "I'm Sorry" also has no meaning to it.... but at least it shows you that i really want to be with you and yes i admit i do make mistakes and sometimes very silly one's but that's me.... i remember you saying to me last time that you feel that i don't love for who you really are because i am controlling you.... but have i ever controlled you? no.... and now who is the one that should feel the same way that you felt last time? do you really love me for who i am really? or do u just love me because sometimes i can really really make u laugh.... but when i am depress and down, stress and so on... you dont seem to try to make me feel good about myself....

i just feel that sometimes you are just taking me as your revenge.... your revenge to your previous boyfriends.... i feel that because i have always been there for you last time to listen your problems with your boyfriends last time, and also because when u show and tell them that ur upset or whatever, they don't do anything and its always me that carries you up again.... so now i feel u are some sort of taking revenge on me because of them.... you get merajuk over small things and make me feel extremely guilty and i feel you somehow like it when u know that i am feeling guilty what i did.... i don't know, but this is what i feel.... and if u think that what i feel is wrong, then do something about it.... please.... its killing me okay!

i am not saying that u cannot be merajuk with me and so on.... but haven't you realize that after the 3rd or 4th time we meet, the next we meet, you will be merajuk for something very small.... i understand that by me just shutting down the pc just like that is wrong.... its something i shouldn't have done.... but i have told u this a million times and u urself know that im am regretting my every single decision that made me just shut down the pc.....

girls are sensitive... i know.... but when u merajuk over small matters and carry on merajuk-ing for days is something i dont understand.... and something even when i try to make it up also u dont seem to be okay after that.... i feel you somehow not very happy with me because i didnt feel guilty enough.....


please sayang.... listen to me please.... talk to me please.... learn how to put your emotions into words and explain to me why are you acting this way? last time we used to get merajuk for fun... but nowadays, we never do it anymore.... you tell me why....

please my love.... i love you so much and i hope you realize it.... and everyday i ask myself where do i want to go with this relationship and everytime i answer "Till The End".... and i am pretty sure that the end is not somewhere near yet.... its still so long more till the end.... and all i want you to do is just somehow show me and believe me and make me happy again.... i've said alot about you.... but will you this time make things change for good? will you this time just make me feel good and then keep on making feel good? or will you just take a step forward and then two steps back?

i love you so much and God willing i am even ready to sacrifice my life, my soul for you.... just as long as i know that you are the happiest girl i know....