it fucking hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
arghh!!!!

i haven't slept properly for more than 3 days already.... i haven't slept for more than 2hours non-stop... it so fucking pain!!! it even hurts to lie down on my pillow.... my head hurts like hell!!!!

u guys have no idea how severe the pain is... i can't even sleep lar.... i have a skin problem on my scalp called " Scalp Folliculitis"......
just imagine... ur head hurts like hell, and when u really can't open ur eyes anymore u try to just put your head on the pillow and it hurts even more!!... my eyes is so hurting cause i haven't been sleeping properly....
it hurts like hell sometimes guys....
u guys are so fucking lucky to have a perfect body with no skin problems and so on.....

anyways, i thought by doing some blogging might be able to get my thoughts away from killing myself.... alot of things have changed since the last time i blogged..... mostly good things.....

CHRISTMAS IS NEAR!!!

so i got something for my sayang.... even though i was super duper short on cash.... i somehow managed to get the perfect things.... i bought this perfume set from bodyshop with had a lotion, perfume, and something else i can't remember, with 2 scent candles.... then i bought her one necklace and one pair of ear rings..... and let me tell you, the price i paid for the necklace was so worth it.... the necklace really looked like some thousand dollar necklace....

and the best part was.... i went to popular book shop and got a few textured paper and cut them out in small pieces and made a love book for her to read.... what i wrote down there was definitely the most touching love letter i have ever wrote.....

i passed her all her presents at the same day i bought it..... before i bought it, i was with her and her dad.... she was going to get a new pair of shoe's so she wanted me to follow along.... while her dad wondered off somewhere... me and her where walking as fast as we could because she was getting late for her caroling....

and it was kinda fun as well on that day because she is supposed to be "merajuk" with me because i turned off the computer while she was doing her work..... and it was the first time i met her since that incident so i know what to expect from her even though she doesn't admit it.... so i could see abit of her "I'M MERAJUK WITH YOU... OKAY!!!" look.... but the best about it is when u pretend not to understand that look and just move on.... somehow, she will mellow down and then she gets all into lovey dovey mode..... hahaha, she's such a darling...... i love her till death....

back to her christmas present thingy, so after she got her shoe's she went home with dad to get ready for the caroling and all.... so there was i.... alone in a huge shopping mall..... filled with people and mostly in groups.... lovely....!

i straight headed to bodyshop and instantly got her the perfume.... and then i was on my to sungai wang and LOT10.... while on the monorail, i received an sms from my sayang.... and this is what she said "why do you have to be so so so so so so so irritating!!?!??"... then after a few minutes... i received another "Ill see you after christmas only.bye."

u see.... that is when she is merajuk and wants me TO GIVE HER ATTENTION..... she doesnt realize this but its true.... she loves attention and when she doesnt get enough attention, she picks on them and makes them feel useless to be born in this world.... its scary to think of it sometimes.....

so after me getting her all her stuff, i headed to a friends place to keep the perfume set as i can't keep in my house... ill get into more trouble for sure..... =(

then around 10pm i called her.... i told her im coming to her house to pass her her christmas present and she got super excited!!

then as soon as i reached her place.... i passed her the ear rings first.... because the ear ring was the cheapest and also it looked kinda cheap as well.... so basically i was just putting her through some test... and she passed with flying colours....!!! she absolutely loved it.... i was amazed.... and then since i was also extremely happy, i told her, that was not your only surprise.... and then she was some more excited.... so then i passed her the necklace and the perfume... and my god... i definitely saw very very tears in her eyes and she loved all my presents.... i was so happy.... it felt so good to buy her something and see her appreciating it from the moment she received it....

then we just lepak-ed at her place for a couple of hours talking and talking.... and that was the day where i remembered how much i actually love her.... i actually can never ever ever live without her now that she has appeared in my life..... she is truly amazing..... i love u sayang....

then after a couple of days... we met up with each other again... we were supposed to go to sungai wang to get her younger brother some PS2 games.... so we met up at KLCC and then she bought a gift for me!!!! WOOOHOOO!!! excited u know...!! first time after so long receiving a gift.... and to be honest, i was more nervous than she was.... because she told me that she didnt know what i want or whether i would like or not.... but i asked myself, what do i want? and i couldn't answer it.... hahahaha.... i decided not to open it at first until we reached LOT10 then she told me... open your present lar.... then i slowly peeled off the selefon tape.... and inside i saw 2gifts! and a picture.... the picture was the 2 of us in melaka and it was not the best picture we have but she said she liked it because i looked goofy.... damn! was blushing ady that time..... then the first present was something for my age old pc..... it was somesort of a fan... something i didnt knew they had invented it.... well, at least she got me something that i can use... hehehe....
then came the best part of all...... best of the best some may say..... i opened up the 2nd gift and i saw a snow flake crystal ball..... i loved it.... why? because on my way back home.... i remembered some of my childhood memories involving those crystal ball... i accidentally broke one last time and my mum had to pay for it.... i never thought that one day i would be able to remember these childhood memories.... that's why the 2nd present she got me could not have been a better gift.... thanks alot sayang.... i love you forever and ever and ever..... ill never leave you.......

anyways.... i got to go ady.... need to brush teeth.... im so hoping that my scalp problem will be better so that i just go to sleep..... argghH!! it hurts badly okay........